let it rain

the rain pours as i look out the window to see a small piece of innocence get washed down the gutter, swirling along with the leaves of yesterday, accompanied by a stranger's leftover garbage. it's not sad, there's no anger in this loss, its just....life. something we have come to accept. maybe that is where the sadness lies. it hides. can i smile at you and give you a hug? maybe i can give you a small piece of me, here take my heart! if only you could know my joy, the lightness that is in my every step thanks to an almighty God. what it must feel like to regain that pride. tired from the incessant treading of the world, bruised and beaten, we fall to the ground in despair and cry out to the sky, "hear my plea!" but we receive silence in return. and as we listen closer, that slight buzzing we once thought was the wind begins to take shape. slowly coming together to form the sounds of a whisper, growing stronger the harder we listen and then there it is. three small words. "HERE I AM". dont ignore it, but run towards it. there are hurdles to jump and dragons to slay, but at the end of that road is a treasure worth every bit of hardship. and He'll be holding your hand the whole way.

my song

the other day i stopped in my tracks, took a look around and said to myself, "this is my life." its so overwhelming that it takes everything in me to not jump around in the street singing (although it doesn't stop me from dancing and singing in my car).  It's in those moments that i feel the creativity in me, the poetry, the music. it's in those moments that the hidden artist within me whispers and begs for me to let her out. She's weak, starved for lack of use. but just as a strong tree starts hidden beneath the ground, so must i allow that innermost angel to stretch and grow, becoming stronger with each year, each use, each song. it isn't easy. i can't know what the results will be. in fact, the results may be worthless in the beginning. left with a pile of creative nothing. a whole lot of cheese and mimicry. but i will continue to exercise my creative gift. like a muscle, pressing on through the pain, forcing myself to take one more step. there are words in my soul. i just need to find the best way to use them. i see the world for what it is. i see the world for what it can be. and it is my one and only wish to reveal these things through my art. i continue to tell myself that i am incapable, but that is the lie that has been poisoning my mind for years and it is time to stop. i have been blessed with opportunities and experiences i never would have thought possible. it is time to celebrate those moments and i will do that through my song, however lackluster it may be in the beginning.

can you hear it?

be true. be new. be you.

i have dedicated myself to a new task: to find something poetic in my every day.


i had a jazz final due today. and as i sat there, my back leaning against the smooth cool glassy mirror, i waited for my turn to present the project that had frustrated my thoughts for the past week and a half. as i watched my friends and classmates, the realization that i had done my project wrong began to creep over the horizon. then with full force, the light shone down on me and screamed, "sucks to be you!" in the past, i may have panicked, burying myself in the ground like a scared mole, hiding and hoping that i would be passed over, giving me the opportunity to redo my project that night. however, today i stood proud, handed over my treasure chest of music commonly referred to as an ipod and took my place before my peers. in that moment i made a decision. i was not doing this for a grade. i was not doing this to create an epic scene of torment and emotion. this dance was for fun. this dance was for me. and that's exactly what i did. for the first time in my jazz final choreographing career i choreographed a dance where i was silly, goofy me. the side of me i rarely let people see. the side of me i love and am finally starting to embrace. i bounced around like a silly girl dancing on her bed to her favorite feel-good song. right or wrong, i had fun and for the first time i can say, "i am proud of my jazz final." and that is all that matters.

be true. be you. be new. life is too short to worry about right and wrong. meet challenges head on and have fun in the process. to live joyfully is a choice. it is taking that step toward ultimate happiness. from now on, no matter the situation, i choose joy.