dolphins and little pink books

Why must i always, constantly look to the future? i once heard a friend say that looking forward is just another form of nostalgia - and im prone to agree. It keeps you from recognizing the beauty in the moment now and truly enjoying what life has given you. These past two weeks have been hard. heck, the past six months have been hard and all i have been doing is looking towards whats ahead - grad school, weddings, travels, boyfriend. This dreaming mentality - imagining the greatness that the future may hold - is a sickness that i have always had. And now, I'm sitting in starbucks nursing a latte and listening to music that can only put me in a good mood. The sun is shining. i have a God who loves me. and in this very moment, i am happy. truly happy. maybe this evening will suck and once again, ill find myself hating my job. but for now, i love what i have. and so this is my goal. i will constantly remind myself to live in the moment, to love what i have been blessed with and find myself lacking nothing. for if i keep looking to the horizon, ill miss what is right in front of me, and thats not living.

When i was in high school, my best friend had a little pink book full of things that would make her smile. And while our English teacher would drone on about Macbeth, Paradise Lost and Swift, we would read through that little book, adding to it and  laughing about events that had become inside jokes. It was a brilliant little book. There were things like bright colored crayons, piratical movie nights, snow and the beatles. I think its time i made my own little book. time i lived a life of gratitude. Right now, im looking at little moments, things that make me happy and im beginning to realize that i love my life. Things like frappucinos, the beach, fedora hats, jason mraz, and ice cream will be the first to adorn my pages. just thinking about these things already puts a smile on my face.  yes, i think a little book of things that make me smile is a very good idea indeed.