greatness is in the eye of the beholder

What does it mean to be great? to some, it is to win a noble peace prize, an olympic medal or an oscar. to some, it is to be the CEO of a giant corporation or perhaps the leader of a nation. But cannot even the person with the simplest life be considered great. what about that mom who drives her son to football practice every afternoon? or the father who looks his daughter in the eye and says, "yes, you are beautiful. don't let any boy tell you otherwise." What about that person who stands behind a table passing out blankets and food to the homeless? we may never know their names. we may never see their faces, but they are great just the same. greatness is not found in our achievements, but in the lives of the people that we serve and inspire along the way. It is found in the struggle. If, at the end of my life, i may look back and say, " i served my family, my nation, and my world in the best way i knew how," then yes, my life will have been great.

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the  most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." ~ Olympic Creed

"But it is not this way among you. Instead whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  ~Mark 10:44-45

just stop and think

Just Stop and Think

**Scott Ayres** | MySpace Video

snow-the stuff lives are made of

My world has become a snowglobe. flakes drop and swirl outside, changing the once grey streets of oakland into a world of white. Some find this annoying. many have used the expressions of "gross, i HATE snow!" and the like. but as it is 11 pm and i have no place to be, i find this sudden deluge quite enjoyable. i mean, there are boys snowboarding down my street. that in and of itself puts a smile on my face. but as i was walking home this evening, i watched as God decorated the trees, cars and homes of my friends and stood in glee, taking in the beauty of the sparking dust. The most wonderful thing about a blizzard? the whole world gets kinda quiet. you can sit and look, and for a few brief moments, my life is simple. The air smells fresh, like rain, and every problem just goes away. i can pretend like i'm six-years-old and play in the snow. in fact, tomorrow i think i will do just that. i will pull on my parka, and camp out in the park, building snowmen and making snow angels. those are the moments the lives are made of. twenty years from now, i wont look back at january of '10 and think about that test i had to study for, or that monologue i had to work on. what i will remember is that day when my friends and i built a fort and had an epic snow ball fight. i will remember coming home, making hot chocolate and watching girl movies. yes, those are the moments that my life will be made of.

Beautiful Dreamer

So The Buried Life, MTV's newest reality show, has captivated me. in case you are unaware of this new slice of reality life, allow me to fill you in: four cute and wonderfully charming boys have set off across the country in a large purple bus (appropriatly named Penelope) and are set to cross off items on their "bucket list", that is, the list of things they would like to do before they die. The desires most people have buried deep inside. For every item they cross off their list, they help a stranger cross off something on theirs. Every show ends with the question, "What would you like to do before you die." and so this has made me do some thinking. now, i have had my own "bucket list" in the works for quite some time. At this point, it is close to 40 items long and i am continually adding to that number. It spans everything from learning how to surf, to traveling to various countries, to writing a song. However, as i was driving in the car today, i thought, 'if i could only pick one thing, what would it be? what would i like to leave behind? how would i like to effect the world i live in?" and i was struck with and idea.

what is this o-so-wonderful idea, you ask? Before i die, i would like to open up a coffee house dedicated to fostering Christian artists. the decor would be inspired by the various cultures i have visited, insisting that all are welcome, no matter their background. It would be a place where writers, actors, musicians, photographers, artists and the like could come together as a support group and cultivate art. We would have open mic nights, poetry readings, art showings, staged readings, scheduled music performances. there would also be small groups/ bible studies available in the evenings. Maybe even a worship night or two. It would be a safe place for a Christian artist to try out their Christian work, knowing that there is a group of supportive brothers and sisters sitting in the audience before them, praying them on. It would act as a refuge after a tiring battle in the artists' world. A place filled with vintage tables and comfy chairs, where you could get a cup of coffee and some biscotti, enjoy some music that lifts you up as opposed to challenging everything you hold dear.

now, dont get me wrong. As artists, it is important that we immerse ourselves in challenges. it is important that we enter the world we disagree with and fight for our beliefs, no matter our politcal or spiritual leanings. but sometimes it is nice to have a place to come home to. a place to recharge our batteries and rekindle the fire. As an artist, i would love some good old fashioned christian fellowship with other artists, and that is what this coffee shop would be all about.

Of course, everyone would be welcome, no matter your beliefs. we would welcome you with warm hearts, just glad that you came in for a cup-o-joe this beautiful afternoon. In fact, please do come in. we would love to answer any questions you may have about our mission, and accept any challenges you may offer. im just glad to have met you.

the name of my cafe? Selah. the most beautiful name in the world. While there are many discrepancies to its exact meaning, most agree that it is a Hebrew term used in music. it is frequently found in the psalms and indicates an interlude where the people were to look back and reflect on what had just been sung. Scholars also believe that it may mean forever, or eternal, just like our God, and His love for us. That is exactly what my cafe is for. Let us gather together, one body in Christ, and create art. something new, original and captivating. something that reflects on the almighty glory of our God above. My savior, my father, my friend. Let us shout together as our joy spills our of our hearts and onto the pages, the walls, the tables and chairs of my little cafe. our little cafe. artists united in Christ.

Everyday we have is a gift from God. how will you use it? what is your buried life?

if music be the food of love...

i have decided to teach myself to play the guitar. and, hopefully, by the end of the year, i will write a song. at least, thats the goal. you see, when i hear music, i can feel it in my gut. it completely opens me up. listening to music, creating music. that is when im happiest. and so, i would like to add one more facet to my music creating skills. i think thats a good idea, yes? i have recently found myself listening to songs that require me to jump around my bedroom like an eight-year-old girl, singing into my hairbrush and dancing on my bed. my current obsessions have been "make it mine" and "on love, in sadness" by jason mraz, brilliant musician and future husband. i also listen to the occasional gaga, "one girl revolution" by superchick, "just can't get enough" by sam walker, and "party in the u.s.a" by miley. yes. i know. its a good song and makes my ab workout much more enjoyable. so there.

how is it that music is able to access that remote and often closed place in our souls? even the coldest heart can be moved to tears by a simple melody. Don't believe me? watch titanic without the underscoring. see if you cry then. in fact, you'll probably laugh. music fuels everything. it swoops and soars, an invisible ghost hell-bent on making us feel.. something. anything. it inspires. i am never as driven as i am when listening to "make it mine" or "car crash" by matt nathanson. music is the one language that can transcend any barrier. yes, if music be the food of love...play on.

a new dawn

I can see the sun rising in the distance. a far away cry reaches out to the masses and pleads for understanding, a foreign and rare light in the mist of the eternal dawn. can we see it? can we hold on to our humanity and allow the strife to be swept away as we comfort our brothers and search for this light? i see in your eyes a passion that i long to obtain. perhaps i can hold it in a jar and stare at its beauty. but then it would be no good. love, in theory, serves no purpose. but love, in practice, ah, now that is a different thing all together. it is the fuel that allows us to reach through the mist and find that voice. that one, solitary voice. is it a child? a mother? a warrior? a friend? the constant buzz, that annoying white noise, is a product of my daily life. it can so easily block out the perfect speech of a friend i have yet to meet: different in race, nationality, customs and language. yet we share a voice. i long to meet you. to rise above the talk of others and walk towards you, arms out stretched in love and embrace the foreign voice of my brother. and as i stare into your eyes, i will see your heart and you will see mine, and we'll know that we are not so different after all. and as the sun finally breaks above the horizon, the mist will disappear and a new light, full of clarity and warmth, will fill our world.

Attitude

The longer you live, the more you will come to realize the impact of attitude on your life. Attitude, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, skills, or being gifted. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the innevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. And so it is with all of us...We are in charge of our attitudes.

~Charles Swindoll


this quote was given to me by a professor. and so i sit hear today and ask myself: what will my attitude be? i beg you to ask yourself the same question. our attitude can have a significant impact on our lives. It can determine whether we rise to a challenge or allow that challenge to beat us into a mass of irreconcilable self-loathing and disappointment. Accept that obstacle with determination in your heart and a smile on your face. i promise it will make life better.