a fresh start

With the coming of the year 2010, we are offered a second chance, a glimpse of hope in a future not yet realized. the 2000's was a decade of growth and change, a decade of lost identity. there was heartache and confusion, pain and anger, laughter and new-found friends. but along with entering this decade, i have entered adulthood. and so it is time to leave childhood strife behind me and embark on a period of love, confidence and dedication. i struggle with the woman i long to be. i can see her in my mind, but she is so far from the person i am at present. it is almost discouraging - an unobtainable goal teasing me with what i could never have. and so i thought that if i were to write these characteristics down, perhaps it would stand as a promise to myself and to the world i live in that i can, and will be, more. i want to work to live, not live to work. i want to be healthy - working out daily and eating in a way that honors the body god has given me, not destroy it with the chemicals and fat that eat away at me not just physically, but mentally. i want to be comfortable in my own skin. i want to be beautiful both inside, and out - no make-up or hairspray required. i want to be hardworking, dedicated, and leave the years of sloth and an apathetic attitude behind me. i want to be well-read (and with that i have sworn off of tv. except maybe glee. i love glee.) i want to be caring and loving, pouring out my heart to a world in need. i want to be the kind of girl who bakes cookies for her friends on a not-so-special occasion, but just 'cause. i want to be brave. i want to be happy. i want to cry. i want to see the world and maybe touch a life in the process. i want to be a musician, a writer, a photographer, an artist, an actor, a poet, a friend. this is the person i want to become in the coming decade. is it too ambitious? perhaps. but i'm not going to cut myself short by not even trying. i hereby vow to take pride in myself, and my work. i will become this girl one day at a time.